Demons
by Jassy Coltrane
Summary: The murder of a young boy triggers memories from the past for Munch. Although FinMunch is implied in this story it is not the main focus of the story.
1. Chapter 1

**Demons **

**Jasmine Coltrane**

**Notes:** I would like to thank the wonderful people who took time out of their busy schedules to Beta read this story. Thank you Lillian Luthor, Vertigomac, and Isabelle Knights. All mistakes that remain are my own. This story delves into some psychological topics. I am not a pyschologist nor a psychiatrist. I am a biologist. I did research this topic though but if this topic happens to be in your field of expertise and you find something that is just obviously wrong please let me know. This story can also be found at my website in it's entirety.

**Feedback:** Please do tell me what you thought of this fiction I would greatly appreciate and if you liked it your feedback may encourage me to write more in the future.

**Summary:** The murder of a young boy triggers memories from the past for Munch. Although Fin/Munch is implied in this story it is not the main focus of the story.

**Warning: ** This story features characters in a slash relationship of the male/male variety. This story also contains graphic descriptions of violence and implies child abuse.

**Prologue **

_We all have demons. Mistakes or events from our past. Things we have done to individuals and things that individuals have done to us. Often we think that we can escape these demons and move on with our lives trying to find some semblance of normality. What we fail to realize is that normality is a myth. Your life is what you make of it and in the end we always have to face our demons._

**Chapter One**

**Unmarked Squad Car**

**Corner of Wellshire and 8th Avenue**

"I hate Mondays. I think it dates back to my prepubescent school boy days, when I realized that the weekend was over and I could look forward to another hellious week in which I would be tortured by the idiotic hormone driven scum that was the average American boy. Well I'm 54 years old and I still hate Mondays, Munch said turning to Fin who was sitting in the driver's sit navigating traffic on their way back to the precinct."

"Munch, did anyone ever tell you that you talk too much," Fin asked.

"Yes, I think you make a point of telling me that only fifty million times a day."

"Well, sometimes I wish you would listen."

"456, we have report of a 10-87 at State St. and South, can your respond, over?"

"Base this is 456, we are on our way," responded Finn.

Undisclosed location 

**Battery Park**

"Are you sex crimes?" A uniform officer said to Fin and Munch as they approached the crime scene.

"Yeah, we are SVU," Munch responded. "What've we got?"

"Well it seems that about 8:32 am this morning a jogger that was jogging along the battery saw something floating in the water, seems that at first he thought it was a dead fish then he realized what he was looking at was a body."

"We fished the body out on the pier. Come on I'll show you."

"Hey Warner, what's the story?" Fin asked, as he and Munch approached the hub of activity surrounding the body.

"Young white male, I would estimate that he is about 10 -12 years of age. He's been in the water for at least a week; see these marks on the torso", Warner said pointing to the area. "I'd say he was weighed down with some type of rope tied to weights. I'll know more about the rope and weights once I get him back to the lab. There is another thing. Let me roll the body over; see these markings? Warner said pointing. "Stars I would say, 12 of them in a circle. You may be looking at some type of satanic religious markings, along with this script carved into the skin on of the markings. It's hard to make out with the deterioration of the skin but it looks like it could be Latin."

"No," whispered Munch as a wave of pain hit him that was so intense he had images flash in his head images that brought so much pain, oh god, he thought. "Oh God." Munch doubled over and puked right into the Hudson River.

"Munch, Munch, what's going on. Take it easy. Are you okay? Stupid question", Fin said.

Munch kept heaving until he was releasing painful dry heaving. He then straightened up. Images were flashing before his eyes. A teen with striking blue eyes, and curly hair standing over him in a darkened room, Sitting in the backroom of the old synagogue with this same teen and other small Jewish boys. The teen boy was leading the group speaking Hebrew and getting the younger boys to repeat after him. Then there was darkness and pain, so much pain.

"What the hell was that", Munch thought and realized his breath had become panicky. Then he heard Fin calling his name.

"Munch, what the hell man, what's going on."

"Nothing, nothing. It must have been that yogurt I had for breakfast, I told you that dive we ate breakfast at looked unsanitary," he said with a wry smirk. But as Fin looked into his eyes he turned away, and they both knew he was lying. Munch took a moment to get his breath under control. He cleared his throat and shook his head and turned to Warner.

"So some kinda satanic ritual you say?" Munch asked acting as if nothing had happened.

"That could be a possibility," Munch said nodding his head. "Ya know these stars kinda look like the star of David," Munch said leaning over the body

"Yes they do but I've never seen them in a circular pattern like this. Do you have any idea what it means?" Warner asked.

" No," Munch said hesitantly. "No, well, doc see if you can figure out what that writing is. We'll check back with you later. Let's go talk to the jogger," Munch said walking off briskly, not waiting for Fin to catch up with him.

"What's with him," the M.E. asked.

"I don't know," Fin said shaking his head, "something's up, We'll catch you later okay, doc," Fin said following after Munch.

"Sure. I should have something for you in about three hours."

**Battery Park**

**Location of Sighting**

"Mr. Hampton, you discovered the body around 8 am this morning, correct?" Munch said trying to desperately ignore the intense stare that Fin was giving him.

"Yes, officer, as I said before I was running along the Battery this morning, which is my usual routine three days out of the week. As I came around for a second lap, I saw the body which at the time I thought was a dead fish but then I realized what I was seeing when I came closer. I immediately called 911. God ya know, you live in the city but you never think your going to see something like this."

"Yes Mr. Hampton, I know. Is there anything else you remember? Did you see any suspicious individuals around?" Munch asked even though he knew it was in vain.

"No, sir. Not that I was really paying attention at that point."

"Well thank you Mr. Hampton we appreciate your help. If you would, let this officer escort you to the 16th precinct and take your formal statement for the record it would be greatly appreciated."

"Will do Detective."

"Well," Munch turned to Fin, "he knew nothing, looks like we should head back to the precinct ourselves and place a search into the database to see if we have any victims fitting the description of our victim."

"Whatever you say, man," Fin said following Munch to the car.

**16th Precinct**

**SVU Division Squad Room **

**Manhattan**

"What do we got," Cragen questioned as soon as Munch and Fin entered the squad room.

"Caucasian male boy, brown hair, about 5'4, unknown age. Probably been in the water for a week or two according to the M.E. Had some type of carvings on his back. Twelve stars in a circular pattern, and some type of lettering, possibly Latin, carved into the flesh below the stars," Fin rattled off keeping one eye on Munch the whole time.

"So, are we thinking this was some type of ritual killing or something?" Cragen asked.

"Don't know Captain. We figured we would come back here and enter in the information that we have so far into the database. Check the missing children reports in the metropolitan area and see if we get any hits. We are waiting from further reports from ME. They said it would take a few hours," Fin responded.

"Okay, update me on your progress in three hours," Cragen said walking back to his office.

"So are we going to talk about what happened out there on the pier or what," Fin said turning to face Munch.

"I told you I just felt queasy it must've been something that I ate."

"Don't bullshit me, Munch."

"Just drop it okay. We have work to do."

"Whatever, I'll let it slide for the moment in the interest justice but you best believe we will be talking about this again."


	2. Chapter 2

**(Notes and Warnings found at the beginning of Chapter 1) **

**Chapter Two**

**Medical Examiner's Lab**

**Manhattan**

"What do you have for us, Doctor," Munch said as he and Fin walked into the lab after placing vapor rub under their noses at the entrance.

"Well," Dr. Warner said, "I'm pretty sure that I've narrowed down the age range to around 11 years of age, I would say that your victim is probably from a wealthy family. He's had extensive dental work done beyond the norm and currently has corrective braces on," Warner said showing them x-rays of the victims skull.

"I have some more bad news. There was extensive tearing in the anal region so I would definitely say that your victim was sodomized repeatedly," the M.E. continued.

"I still haven't been able to nail down how long your victim has been in the water, but I will be performing test as soon as we are done here to try to determine an exact time frame. I was also able to take some photos of the markings and enhance them. Definitely not Latin based, looks like it might be Aramaic or Hebrew."

The M.E. continued on but Munch was not paying attention. "As you can see here they are clearly cut into the skin. I would say with this precision the perp probably used a scalpel and they were definitely competent in using it."

Munch stood rooted to the spot frozen with fear, and tried to fight down the panic, but he couldn't. He could hear a voice in his head. He saw images of a young man helping him to write Hebrew. The boy turned to him and patted him on the back he then reached for the buttons on his shirt. At this point Fin turned to find Munch visibly pale and shaking.

"Munch, Munch," Fin called

"What," Munch answered shaking his head, "Sorry I guess I need to eat something. I'm getting a little shocky. I did after all throw up every single thing I had this morning as we all know. So doctor is there anything else you can tell us now?" Munch asked.

"No, not currently."

"Okay, you'll get in touch with us when you've completed the other test," Munch directed and then left.

"Fin….," Warner questioned.

"I don't know. I really don't know. I'll talk to you later, doc," Fin said following Munch out.

**16th Precinct**

**SVU Division Squad Room **

**Manhattan**

"Captain, according to the M.E. the victim was sexual assaulted at some point in time. Turns out the victim had some extensive dental work performed. We also have the exact height of the victim 5'4. The hair and the eye color are both brown. The M.E. took some photos of the markings and enhanced them. It looks as if the markings are Aramaic or Hebrew. It definitely looks like Hebrew to me" Munch said handing the photos to the captain.

"Get these to an analyst now."

"Right away Captain," Munch answered and walked off.

"Captain, may I speak with you for a moment," Fin asked.

**FMFMFMFMFMFMFM**

On his way back from dropping the photos off at the analyst, Munch found himself racking his brain to try to find out what the hell was happening to him. He couldn't rationalize it but he knew that if he didn't get his act together soon, Fin and others were going to start suspecting something was up and no way was he going to let that happen.

When Munch returned to the Squad room, he found it in a frenzy.

Stabler and Benson were on the phones talking frantically and Cragen, Fin, and Huang were huddled in a tight little circle in the mist of a deep discussion.

Cragen looked up when he saw Munch approaching, and the discussion came to a halt when Fin and Huang were alerted to his presence. Warning bells went off in Munch's mind.

"So what's going on?", Munch asked.

"We got a hit in the database shortly after you left that matches our MO. Actually we got multiple hits, all unsolved," Cragen replied.

"It looks as if we have a serial killer. We've found at least seven boys all over the US with similarities to our victim," Huang continued.

"We are currently trying to find out the identity of boy. Stabler and Benson are working on it," Fin said.

"Agent Huang is here to help coordinate efforts with the FBI and to offer some insight into our perp," Cragen continued.

"Detective Munch, may I have a word with you," Huang asked.

Munch shot Fin a look and said, "Do I have a choice?"

"You always have a choice," Huang replied with a small smile.

"Okay sure, well I apologize Captain. Looks like you're going to have to do without my help for the time being. It seems I'm going to be party to some head shrinking," Munch said sarcastically.

Fin and Cragen just looked at him and he shook his head in exasperation and followed the good doctor into the debriefing room.

**Debriefing Room**

"So Munch how are you feeling."

"Well I've been feeling pretty good up until the point that I found out that my day was going to include this little chat."

"Well, I have to say I've heard reports that conflict with that."

"Reports," Munch sneered, "and who would be the source of these reports."

"Detective Munch, I understand that there was an incident this morning where you vomited up at the scene of the crime. Quite severely I might add."

"Look, Doctor, first of all how does one severely vomit and second, a lot of people lose their lunch at the scene of the crime, and besides as I told Fin whom I'm sure you've spoken with about this since he is the source of said reports, ……."

"It was something you ate," the doctor finished with a slight smile.

"You know doctor that smile of yours is a little disconcerting."

Huang continued, ignoring Munch's comment,

"So lets talk about what happened exactly. You got the call this morning and reported to the scene. You get there and you start talking with the ME on the scene. You discuss the body and you were fine. Then something triggered your reaction. Did you see something that upset you? Is there anything familiar about the boy that you saw? Did he remind you of someone? Fin said you mumbled something about the markings on his back but he couldn't make it out."

For a brief moment, Munch felt an all out panic, and he fought hard not to show it to the doctor.

"No doctor. Okay, you want the truth? I just got a little nauseous. The body, it got to me. Twenty plus years in the field, you would think that I would have gotten use to seeing things like that. Look, I know your trying to help but I do believe my expertise and yours would be better served out there trying to track this freak down. May I go now," Munch asked.

Huang nodded in the affirmative with a sad smile.

Munch walked out of the debriefing room leaving Huang sitting at the table.

Munch walked out into the squad room and was met by Cragen.

"Munch, Benson, Stabler, Officers Fernandez, and Ottawa, are checking some leads on the identity of our victim."

"It's 6:00 pm, I want you to go home and take the rest of the night off."

"Captain,….."

"I don't want to hear it Munch, go home."

"Whatever you say, Cap't."

Fin approached Munch, "I'll drop you off Munch."

"The hell you say," Munch replied.

"Come on Munch, don't be that way."

"Fine, let's go."

**FMFMFMFMFMFM**


	3. Chapter 3

**(Notes and Warnings found at the beginning of Chapter 1)**

******Chapter Three**

When Fin and Munch were five minutes away from Munch's apartment, Fin finally tried to talk with Munch again.

"Look Munch, I know you're pretty pissed with me right now, but you definitely had me scared today. Can we talk about this?"

"No, I will not talk with you. I do not feel that you are worthy of speaking to at the moment."

"Come on Munch, I've never seen you react that way to a body and before that you were sitting there muttering under your breath. You looked like you had seen a ghost and let's not mention the little show you put on in the lab. What the hell was I suppose to do."

"I told you it was something I ate. A partner who trusts me would have left it at that."

"Well that's just bullshit. What the fuck is going on with you?"

"I told you nothing. All I want to do is to go lie down and sleep okay. I'm probably just coming down with something."

Fin pulled up in front the apartment complex and parked. "Whatever, I'll walk up with you, okay?"

"I don't need a babysitter. "I told you I'm fine."

"Well just to appease your partner how about I walk you up."

"Why should I be appeasing you. You know what, forget it, I don't feel like arguing with you." Munch said and got out of the car.

"Now I know something's wrong," Fin muttered before following suit.

Fin and Munch entered the apartment.

The apartment of course looked nothing like the bachelor pad Munch made it out to be. It had a nice expensive Victorian look.

Munch walked over to a table stand in the hallway and placed his dark glasses on the top. He then proceeded to the mahogany bar in the living room and poured himself a dry bourbon and offered Fin a glass.

Fin shook his head no, "You know me, no drinking and driving."

"Fin you never drink regardless of whether your driving or not."

"We aren't here to talk about me."

"No, I guess we can talk about your alcohol consumption or lack there of at another time."

"You are no one to talk actually, you are kinda adding to my worrying here."

"Look I just want to relax okay. You wanted to talk, so talk."

Fin released a frustrated sigh, "okay Munch, look something is going on and I want you to tell me what it is. Something has got you spooked and I think you should talk to someone about it. If not Huang then me"

Munch set down on the couch and didn't speak for five minutes, methodically taking gulps from his glass. He then got up and went poured another glass and sat back down.

Fin sat and patiently, waiting for Munch to speak first.

"I can't believe you did that. As much as you know I hate shrinks. I still can't get over that."

"Look I'm sorry. You kinda scared the shit out of me I've never seen you rattled like that before."

"Sometimes things just get to me Fin, just like everyone else. I'm not completely heartless. I may be a wise ass but I'm not heartless."

"I'm sorry Munch, but we both know that there was a little more then that involved."

"Fine, Fine, drag it out of me. I don't know what happened okay. It kinda scared the shit out of me. It was kind of like I was in some type of fugue state. I remember pieces of a conversation but that's it. Some old childhood memory I don't know why I flashed on it. And to tell you the truth, I would like to stop talking about it, okay?"

"But, Munch…"

"Leave it Tuotuola." Munch pinned Fin with an intense stare.

"Fine, if you say so. I'm still worried about you I'll pick you up at seven in the mornin', kay?"

"Sure, later Fin."

"I'll let myself out," Fin said standing up.

After Fin left Munch set in and stared at the walls for a while, consuming almost a quarter of a bottle of bourbon before he decided it was one of the stupidest things he had done in a while.

But, he needed something to drown out the roar of his thoughts, because to tell the truth he felt like he was hanging on to his sanity by a thin thread.

Munch got up, and almost lost his footing. "Idiot," he thought. "Drinking on an empty stomach. God what's happening to me. I'm falling a part. Snap out of it," Munch thought to himself.

Munch walked over to the kitchen and fixed himself a sandwich, ate it without tasting it and went to his bedroom and lay down on his bed fully clothed.

**Munch's Apartment**

**2:30 am**

Munch shot up out of his bed and ran full sprint for the bathroom, and promptly proceeded to vomit everything that he had eaten that night including all of the bourbon he had consumed, which seemed to remind him of how stupid an idea it was drink it by burning the hell out of his throat. Munch rubbed his face and realized that there were tears streaming from his eyes. Then it hit him. He remembered the dream he had been having.

He retched again but his stomach was empty. So he ended up dry heaving for a few minutes.

He slid down to the bathroom floor and started sobbing as visions assaulted him; visions of pain and terror. One face stood out in the visions. He remembered that face. But the scenes flashing across his mind were alien to him. He realized after a moment he was hyperventilating he managed to start forcible calming himself down.

He finally was able to stand up on shaky legs. He briefly thought about calling Fin but thought against it and then he considered calling his brother and he thought this was odd.

"I just want to escape I don't know what the hell is going on…God help me."

Munch curled up into a ball, his body convulsing with tremors and eventually passed out.


	4. Chapter 4

**(Notes and Warnings found at the beginning of Chapter 1) **

**  
**

**Chapter Four**

Fin pounded on Munch's door trying to get him to respond.

"Munch if you don't respond in the next thirty seconds I'm using my emergency key and I don't want to here any bitching," Fin yelled through the door.

"Munch, opened the door in boxers and t-shirt."

"What are you trying to wake up my neighbors."

"Well you weren't opening the door I thought you were dead or something."

"No I'm not dead but I wish I were."

"How much of that bourbon did you slug back."

"Oh, only a quart or so."

"Munch…"

"Oh spare me Fin."

"You do realize that it's 7:15 and unless there is a new dress code for New York's Finest that I wasn't made aware of, I would say you need to get dress."

"Yeah, Yeah give me thirty, okay?"

"Fine."

"Make yourself at home."

**SVU Squad Room**

**Manhattan**

When Munch and Fin got to the precinct Munch jetted to his desk immediately. He knew that Fin was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to harass him more and he wasn't looking forward to that conversation.

Cragen approached him and Fin few minutes after they entered the squad room. "We've got a positive ID on the victim and we have three more hits so far in VICAP for possible related cases. The victims name Jeremiah "Jeremy" Cohen. His parents live at 340 Park Avenue," Cragen said. "Fin, I want you and Munch to go talk the victims parents find out what you can about were he spent his time. They were notified and identified the body late last night so go easy on them, okay?"

Sure Captain, Munch replied as he stood up to leave the squad room.

**Victim's Residence**

**Park Avenue**

"Whoa," Munch whistled. "Nice place, he said, looking up at the four story brownstone.

"Yeah. I can't say I wouldn't mind living here."

"On our salary, not in this life time."

Fin rang the doorbell. A maid came and opened the door promptly.

"May I help you?"

"Yes, I'm Detective Munch and this is Detective Tutuola. We would like to speak with Mr. and Mrs. Cohen."

"It will just be one moment, let me show you to the sitting room. Unfortunately Mr. Cohen is not here right now," the maid said beckoning for the Detectives to follow her.

"A few minutes later a tall elegant red headed woman walked into the sitting room, Detectives, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. This morning has been a little hectic."

"Not a problem Mrs. Cohen. We understand." Fin replied as soon as Mrs. Cohen had seated herself across from Munch and himself.

"Well, I know you Detectives would like to ask me some questions about Jeremy. I regret that Mr. Cohen had to go into the office today, it was completely unavoidable."

"Okay, Mrs. Cohen. We would like to know where Jeremy was headed the day he turned up missing," Munch questioned.

"Well Jeremy, was very independent. He went to school and came back here by himself. He was twelve and we had recently given him more independence. Obviously that was a mistake. He was suppose to be going to school that day and heading directly back because we had plans for that evening. A social function. Around five that evening Jeremiah hadn't showed up so I called the school. It turns out that Jeremiah hadn't shown up for school that morning. I've never known him to skip school. He's had his fair share of problems in school but recently that had stop and he actually started showing some discipline thus the reasoning for his newly gained independence. After I talked with the school, I called the police. I don't know how this could have happened."

"Mrs. Cohen, do you know if your son had recently been spending a lot of time somewhere? Had he mentioned any new friends, Fin asked."

"No, not really. I mean besides church and home, he didn't spend much time anywhere else, except for on his computer. Jeremiah didn't have many friends."

Munch raised his eyebrows, looked at Fin, and then turned back to Mrs. Cohen. "His computer," Munch asked.

"Yes. He would spend hours and hours on it. He always finished his school work so we just let him do whatever he wanted. I know that sounds awful, looking back on it but Paul and I thought it was the best approach with kids".

"Do you have any other children besides Jeremy?

Yes a daughter, she's at William and Mary right now. This is just going to devastate her."

"Well, Mrs. Cohen we want to thank you for your time. We would like to take Jeremy's computer to have a look at it if you don't mind."

"No Detective, anything that will help you to find who did this."

"Looks like we don't have much to canvas." Fin said as they stepped out of the Cohen residence.

"I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing," Munch replied.

"What do you mean?"

"Did Mrs. Cohen seem a little cold to you."

Fin looked at Munch considering for a second, "the Lady was probably in shock, she just lost her son."

"Yeah, whatever," Munch replied. "Let's get this laptop back to the station."


	5. Chapter 5

**(Notes and Warnings found at the beginning of Chapter 1) **

**  
**

**Chapter Five**

"Almost three weeks and still nothing. This is the part I hate," Fin said as he slammed the phone down.

Munch nodded barely acknowledging his partner.

"Munch…"

"….. Yeah," Munch asked after a little delay.

"Nevermind," Fin said shaking his head.

"Hey Benson, have we heard anything back on the other cases we found in VICAP that match this victim," Munch asked."

"Nada."

"This is great we probably have a serial killer on our hands and nobody gives a shit," Munch said a little too vehemently.

"Take it easy, Munch you know these things take time," Fin said soothingly to Munch.

"Yeah, whatever."

"I'm going to grab something to eat. Anybody want anything," Fin asked as he stood up from the desk and stretched.

Benson responded, "Yeah, could you pick me up a Caesar salad from Toni's."

"Hey while your at it can you pick me up a beef calzone from there to," Stabler called from across the squad room.

"Munch you want anything?"

"Nah, I'm good," Munch responded.

"Munch you need to eat you look like a walking skeleton more then ever."

"Fin, get the fuck off my back. You act like a fucking mother hen,"

Munch shouted, Drawing the attention of the whole squad room. Munch never shouted, and rarely used obscenities.

"Munch, in my office right now," Cragen called from the door of his office.

"Captain, give me a break," Munch started as soon as he walked into the office.

"Fin has been riding me for weeks now, it's frustrating."

"Munch why don't you have a seat," Cragen said as he walked around to the otherside of his desk and sat down. He waited for Munch to sit down before he continued. "Munch, you are a little off your game for the past few weeks. Something's got you rattled. Why don't you take a few days off?"

"No, I will not. If you don't think I am capable of doing my job, maybe it's time that I try alternative sources of income."

"See Munch that's what I'm talking about. Your just so …..sensitive."

"Why don't you just take a few days off okay, just relax. Get out of the city. Maybe when you come back you could talk to Huang or if not Huang another counselor; someone you can trust, okay? Sometimes we all need a little help."

"Like Jeffries? I need that kind of help the same way I need a bullet in my head"

"Munch, I think you should seek counseling now while it's an option."

"It doesn't sound like much of an option to me, Captain."

"Munch I'm tired of playing games. I'm trying to help you. This is a high pressure job and you are good … no you're excellent at what you do, but right now something is bothering you and you can't have it effecting how you perform your job. As far as I can see, it is effecting how you interact with your partner and everyone else in the department so I'm going to ask you one final time. Do this for me. I don't want to lose another one of my detectives."

"Fine Captain, I will do it."

"Okay, for the next two weeks I want you to work only half days and I would like for you to talk with Dr. Huang. I know that he is willing to talk with you but if you prefer another counselor, he probably would be able to recommend someone to you."

"Captain, two weeks?"

"Look, I thought about making it a leave of absence but I'm trying my best not to jeopardize your career, so….just leave it. Take this opportunity for what it is. At 2:00 pm I want you at Huang's office and after that I don't want to see your face back here until tomorrow, morning."

"Captain this is starting to tweak my conspiracy-o-meter. This is the second time in less then two weeks that you have sent me home. I'm starting to get the distinct impression that either you don't like me or you don't think I'm capable of performing my duties as a police officer. Because if it's the latter, I love this job more then anything. It's my life as sad as it may sound but don't you dare think I won't walk out of that door if you think I'm doing a second rate job. I've lived my whole life coming in second best except for this job and I will not, I will not go through this."

"John,…"

"No Captain," Munch shook his head a little shocked at revealing that much of his feelings."

He closed his eyes for a moment. "No Captain, regardless of what I said I'm not giving this up. I will go to Dr. Huang but I won't like it. I'm a little confused right now to the point that I've actually considered that it might be a positive thing to talk with a psychiatrist. Munch took a deep breath. Alright, I'm going to go do some work. Our time is too important to be wasted on my problems and I understand that."

Munch stood up to leave Cragen's office. "I'm going to go call some of the other state police departments to see if there are any new leads on our perp and then I'll head over to the Federal building to have a nice chat with the resident shrink."

**Huang's Office**

**FBI Headquarters**

**Manhattan**

"So why am I chatting with you, doc? You're a forensic psychologist, don't you have better things to do with your time."

"Well I know how much you dislike members of my profession so we thought it would be better if you talked with someone that you are familiar with a colleague like me."

"The infamous WE."

Captain Cragen and I.

"You've been having a lot of chats with Captain Cragen and my partner about me lately. One could start to become a little paranoid, but oh yes here I am sitting in your office under strict command by my superior so there is no reason to become paranoid."

"John, I have to be honest with you. I also wanted to speak with you because I believe that some of your recent problems have to do with the Cohen case. I believe that you know something. Something more then you are letting on. And I want to know why you are keeping it a secret. I can't imagine you jeopardizing this case especially now that we know we have psychopath on our hands. Unless," Huang tilted his head, "You've been abused in your past haven't you?"

Munch, flinched visible at this remark. Huang continued like he hadn't noticed.

"Maybe it's something that you blocked out because there is no report of it in your files or did you hide it."

"So tell me John, do you ever feel a sudden onset of fear almost paralyzing with no perceived cause."

"You mean like a panic attack. I haven't had a panic attack since my first pimple almost forty years ago. It was my Junior High eighth grade dance. Traumatic experience you see. Ahh those were the days when there was just mere torture and no mayhem.

"John, I didn't mean panic attacks, I meant uncontrollable terrorizing fear that almost paralyzes you that it is so intense. I think you know exactly what I'm talking about because you experienced it." Munch crossed his legs and looked away from Huang staring out of the window.

"John, I.."

"Yes Doctor," Munch turned and spoke seriously for the first time, "I have been experiencing what you describe quite regularly."

"For how long?"

Munch shrugged and looked at his shoes for a moment. "I don't know. I would say for the past few years. It comes and goes but recently its been a thousand times worse. Its like I will go minutes without even realizing time is passing. These images keep popping in my head and they are so confusing because I remember them yet I don't remember them."

"And the pain is unbearable. Its like I'm reliving whatever it is. Frankly I can't believe I'm telling you all of this but I guess it's because I'm tired of dealing with it alone because it's quite obvious that what I'm doing isn't working." Munch took a deep breath, released it slowly and uncrossed his legs.

"Sometimes I will have flashes of pain and fear and I will just freeze and not know what is happening. Its never been on the job and its always been when I'm tired and or stressed but not focused on a task."

Munch stood up and walked to the window. "Three weeks ago was the first time I ever experienced it on the job and three weeks ago was the first time I ever had images to accompany the fear and pain. Its been getting progressively worse since that time."

Munch turned back to face Huang. "So doctor is this the end of the line for my illustrious career or what?"

"Let's not jump to any conclusions here Munch. I will admit that I don't think work is the best place for you to be at the moment. I recommend to you that you take a short leave of absence for the time being and I would like for you to come to my office tomorrow nine am. You can get through this. I don't want you to worry about work right now. I want you to focus on you."

"That's exactly what I don't want to do, Doctor, thanks."

"I want to see you tomorrow. Don't worry about contacting Cragen I will talk to him. And don't worry I won't divulge anything that we've discussed today, but John. if this is heading into the direction that I think it is heading, we will need to discuss this with others, okay? I know that your value your privacy," Munch snorted, that was the understatement of the century, "but in the end I know that you will want to do what is right."

John turned and walked to the door. "You'll get through this, Munch." Munch paused as if to say something but shook his head and walked out of the office.

**FMFMFMFMFMFM**


	6. Chapter 6

**(Notes and Warnings found at the beginning of Chapter 1) **

**  
**

**Chapter Six**

******Munch's Apartment**

******7 pm**

Bam. Bam. Bam. "Who the hell could that be," Munch said to himself as he staggered to his door from his bedroom.

Munch looked out through the peep hole, and considered telling the person on the other side to get lost, thought better of it and opened the door.

"Your home," Fin said as soon Munch had opened the door.

"Yeah I'm home and it's a good thing too. God knows what you would have done to my more door if I wasn't."

"Hey at least I didn't just come right in. I do have a key, ya know?"

"And why did I ever think it was a good idea to give you the key to my apartment?"

"Because we are partners," Fin said with a little smile."

"So how did your visit with Huang go? Cragen said that you were going on a leave of absence?"

"Don't act like you didn't think I was going psycho of the past few weeks," Munch said making a face.

"Well I will admit you didn't seem to be yourself. So what's going, that is if you want to talk about it," Fin asked cautiously.

"If you had asked me that a week ago I would've kicked you out of the apartment but for some reason I feel like talking."

After Munch finished telling Fin what he had been experiencing for the past few weeks, Fin sat there for a while absorbing it all.

Fin sat completely still for a few minutes, Munch could see his jaw muscles working back and forth.

"So what do you think this means" Fin finally asked. "Do you believe that you were possibly abused when you were little and have been blocking it out all this time?"

"Well, that's what the good doctor thinks. With all these images floating around in my head I have to agree."

"No conspiracy theories, huh?"

"No. With all that was going on with my father committing suicide I kinda felt like I was falling into a black hole. I don't remember much from that time period. I never thought it was strange before. I just thought that I was covering up for past pain, dealing with my father. This is so confusing to me, I just…"

Fin reached out to place a hand on Munch's shoulder, and Munch immediately jumped up and started pacing.

"I'm sorry, Munch I wasn't thinking."

"It's not your fault," Munch, replied running his hand through his hair. "I don't know I think I……"

"Hey how about I run and go get us food I'll bring it back and we'll talk some more if you feel like it. If not I can just leave, okay?"

"Sure."

"I'll get your favorite alright?"

"Vegetables in garlic sauce?"

"You got it."

When Fin returned, Munch opened the door and looked to be fresh out of the shower, hair still wet with his infamous black pj's on.

"You wanna share a bottle of wine with me," Munch asked?"

"Just one glass, if it will make you feel better."

Munch smiled and walked over to the dining table which had a bottle of wine already on ice.

While eating, Fin noticed Munch becoming progressively more pensive to the point that he realized that Munch was shutting down like he had seen him do so many times before.

"So do you want to talk some more."

Munch immediately tensed up, staring at his plate for a moment.

"No," was his simple reply.

"Okay," Fin said. "Let me take your plate" he said getting up, "I'll do the dishes."

Munch nodded his had woodenly. "I think I'm going to go lay down, you can let yourself out okay?"

"Okay do you need a ride to Huang's office tomorrow?"

"No," Munch replied, "I'm a big boy I can take a taxi all by myself."

"Okay.".

"Good night Fin and thank you."

After Fin finished washing the dishes that he and Munch had used he began wiping down the counters and the table. There was a thin layer of dust present on the counters from disuse and Fin was secretly or not so secretly fastidious at best and a clean freak at worst.

After Fin was finished, a half hour had past. He thought that he would check on Munch before he left.

When Fin entered the dark bedroom he could sense that something was off.

He walked over to the bed and saw Munch curled up into a tight fetal position and violently trembling. He tried to wake him by calling him but when that didn't work he tried to shake him awake to no effect. Fin fumbled to turn on the lamp on the nightstand beside the bed. Once the light illuminated Munch's face Fin realized that the trembling he saw was actually being caused by violent seizures. Munch was having a seizure. Fin immediately reached for his phone and called for an ambulance. He then hung up and dialed another number.

"Dr. Huang, something's happening to Munch…."

******  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**(Notes and Warnings found at the beginning of Chapter 1)**

******Chapter Seven**

******  
**

******St. John's Memorial**

******11 pm**

As soon as the doors to the elevator opened to reveal the 7th floor, Cragen stalked out and headed for the Nurses station. He saw Fin standing there with his head down.

"Fin, how is he," Cragen asked softly.

"He's sedated as of now," Dr. Huang is in there with him.

"What happened?"

"I don't know Captain one minute he was fine, well good as can expected. We were talking and then he got a little upset and said he was going to go lay down and I went to go check on him before a left and I found him seizing." Fin shook his head, "I just don't know Captain. This is insane." Fin rubbed his face with both hands.

Huang walked out of Munch's room and approached Cragen and Fin.

"How is he," Cragen, asked immediately.

"Well, they are going to keep him over night and run some neurological test to see if the source of his seizures are physical."

"What do you mean physical, what other cause could there be," Fin replied.

Huang turned to Fin and answered, "There is a chance that the cause of Munch's episode was due to some type of mental trauma."

"Trauma?" Cragen replied, "Do you mean PTSD?"

"That's possible" Huang replied, "but there may be another cause, one that I'm not at liberty to say since I am currently Detective Munch's acting psychologist."

"Doctor, may I see Munch now," Fin asked.

"Sure, unfortunately he is unconscious at the moment but you're free to go in."

"Thanks."

Fin, walked into the darken hospital room. He approached Munch's bed cautiously.

"Hey partner," he whispered. "You hang in there, okay. We will get through this. You can count on me. I got your back."

He pulled up a chair to the bed and reached for Munch's hand and started rubbing his thumb over the back of Munch's hand soothingly.

**_ooooooooooooooooooooo_**

Dr. Robinson, the head neurologist on staff walked into the room to find his patient sitting up and reading what looked like some type of tabloid. Munch immediately looked up when he noticed the entrance of the doctor.

"So doctor what's the story? Am I dying from some mysterious ailment or am I just going slightly insane."

"Well Mr. Munch, we have found nothing seriously wrong with you physically besides you being about 20 pounds underweight and borderline anemic," Dr. Robinson said disapprovingly, "you are physically fit."

"You keep putting emphasize on physically, so what do you think is wrong with me?"

"Well we would like to keep you here for one more day under observation but after that we will release you into the care of Dr. Huang. It has been found that what you may have suffered from is a psychogenic non-epileptic seizure, PNES, a seizure brought on by some emotional trauma in your past. I must admit that I'm not an expert in this area and I will have to leave you in the capable hands of Dr. Huang."

When Dr. Huang walked into the hospital room he found Munch standing at the sole window in the small hospital room and immediately sensed that Munch was waiting for him and back to his usual defensive self. No more "open" Munch. Huang was in for a battle.

"So Doctor, it seems I have finally lost it, huh? Am I going to lose my shield? I have a feeling that if I hadn't talked with you yesterday no one would have had a clue that there was a possibility of something being mentally wrong with me."

Dr. Huang opened his mouth to begin to speak but Munch was having none of it and continued.

"So, Dr. Robinson said that they wanted to keep me here for another day under observation. So are they going to transfer me to the Psych Ward because that's just going to do wonders for my career."

"John, we are not completely sure of your diagnosis as of yet. It is possible that you may have suffered…….."

"PNES, yes I was informed by the wonderful Dr. Robinson."

Dr. Huang frowned for a moment then continued, "Yes it is possible that you suffered a Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizure. What we need to do now is do some routine psychological tests to assess the problem. I have to tell you Munch that I know that you do not trust psychiatrists and I know that you have been hurt by some members of my profession in the past, but I must say that I'm here to help you and I can only help you if you are willing to help yourself."

Munch snorted and turned to face the window again.

"Munch, please."

"Fine Doctor, I'll do whatever it takes. I don't want to lose my shield. I don't want to lose my life," Munch whispered so that Huang had to strain to here him.

******  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**FMFMFMFMFMFMFM**

**Chapter Eight**

**Huang's Office**

**FBI Headquarters**

**Manhattan**

Okay, Munch you have given me permission to perform a time regression exercise on you. I'm stating this for the record and I will begin the procedure now", Huang said addressing Munch who was sitting in a chair in the center of his office. The lights were dimmed so that the room was dark.

**Regression Exercise John Munch**

Day 1 

"Okay Munch what we are going to do now is enter into time regression. We are going to regress back to the year of 1965. March 14, 1965," Huang said in a very calm voice. What's happening? Where are you?"

"I'm standing in my parent's sitting room surrounded by a lot of people. They all have on black. Everyone is whispering and they keep looking at me with curiosity in their eyes. I don't like it."

"Why are the people there, John?"

"They are here because my father killed himself and left me and my brother all alone with her."

"Who is she?"

"Priscilla Munch."

"How do you know her?"

"She's my mother and she hates me and Bernie. She says that we are worthless and will never amount to anything just like our father. Who couldn't even hold a decent job without getting laid off after five months. She's the reason why my father killed himself. But I'm so angry with him because he left me and Bernie alone with her. He shouldn't have done that. I think it might be my fault; maybe I didn't do enough. I wasn't a good enough kid for him to stick around even with her being there."

Huang grimaced at this.

"Where is your mother now?"

"She's in her room and she won't come out. She refused to go to the funeral saying that it's a waste of time. I hate my father right now, but I hate her even more."

Day 2 

"Okay Munch, its May 1st 1965. What are you doing?"

"I'm outside on the playground. It's recess and me and my little brother are playing jacks by the step like we do everyday."

"Okay what happens next?"

"Frank and Peter come up to us and take 7 of my jacks. I tell them to give it back and they just laugh at meI kinda get fed up with it. This always happens. They always hassle me so today for some reason I decide to do something about it I lunge at Peter because he is the one always taunting me and calling me names, and saying bad things about my father. But he's ready for me. I guess I was too slow. He knees me in the stomach and I go down hard but he doesn't stop there he starts kicking me and all the kids surround us and they are screaming and the sound is deafening and all I feel is the pain of him kicking me. Finally Mrs. Brown, my sixth grade teacher comes over and breaks it up and drags me and Peter to the principals office where of course I get in the most trouble because Peter's father happens to be good friends with Principal Peterson it's all my fault of course. I was suspended and my mother had to come pick me up from school. She of course came into the office all in a huff. She was upset that I had caused her to miss her favorite soap opera. She then continued to berate me all the way home."

"When we finally got home there was someone waiting for us on our door step. He was a young man around twenty years old. I guess you could say he was handsome with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I vaguely recognized him but couldn't really place him. I couldn't figure out why he was on our doorstep. He introduced himself to my mother as David Stein. He then revealed where it was that I had seen him before. It was at the local synagogue that me and my brother used to go to with my father. He had a youth program that was just getting off it's feet and he thought I would be a prime candidate for it. My mother of course told him that I had just been suspended and that I was worthless on top of that and I would probably just bring him grief. He brushed off her comments and told her that I would be perfect and that's when I decided that David Stein was the best thing that could happen to me."

Day 6 

"John, why are you crying?"

"Leave me alone, oh god."

"John?"

"I feel sick I think I'm going to throw up," Munch said and then proceeded to do so before Huang could react.

"John?"

"I can't believe it oh god." Munch said wiping his mouth.

"John what happened?"

"I didn't want to. I didn't want to. I didn't want to. He said it was okay, that it was normal that boys had been doing it since the Ancient Greeks. You know he knows a lot about history. He's the smartest person that I know."

"Who is he?"

"David, of course."

"He has been so great to me. I don't know why we had to do it."

"Do what?"

"You know he touched my, my,……..penis and we…we master.. bated each other. It didn't feel right. I don't know how I could do it. I threw up afterwards and he got so mad that he slapped me. He's never been mad at me before. I just got up and ran all the way home. Bernie tried to talk to me but I wouldn't let him in to my room. I cried all night."

"That next day I didn't go to youth camp."

"He came by that night and told my mom that we had had a situation. I watched them talking from the stairs. She told me to come down there right that second."

"I came down and I looked up at David my friend who had hurt me."

"David told my mom that there was no need for me to apologize as long as I came back that next day."

"And so I did."

**Day 10**

"Oh God." "It hurts so much. David said it would but that I should be a man and just take it. Oh god, Oh god, why?"

"It hurts. It hurts. Make him stop make him stop…"

"John? John?" Huang called.

John had passed out.

Day 12 

"I did something stupid today and David is going to punish me."

"What did you do?"

"I told Mrs. Wilson, my seventh grade teacher, that someone was hurting me."

"She called my mom and my mother is going to talk to David to see if he knows anything about it tomorrow. He's going to kill me, he's going to kill me, he's going to kill me."

Day 13 

Munch was shrieking at the top of his lungs and nothing Huang did seem to stop it.

It was starting to rattle Huang.

"John, John," Huang called as calmly as possible. "What's happening, John?"

"He's …He's…….. ah… he's carving something into the bottom of my foot with a knife. He said that it would teach me a lesson. Ahhh….. oh god it hurt's. Oh god. We were learning about the twelve tribes of Israel and he said that he would make sure that I always remember them Joseph, Judah, Issachar, Benjamin, Levi, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Simeon, Dan, Zebulun, Reuben. and I would always remember that what happened between me and him would stay private or Bernie would be next. I was leaving me, my mother, and brother but he said that if I wanted to keep Bernie safe I would forget this ever happened. It hurts so much."

"I have to tell Mrs. Wilson it was all a lie, if I want to keep Bernie safe."

"Munch, Munch you are awake."

Things started coming into to focus for Munch, but something was different he remembered. He remembered … everything. Munch hunched over and began sobbing.

**FMFMFMFMFMFMFM**


	9. Chapter 9

**FMFMFMFMFMFMFM**

**Chapter Nine**

**Huang's Office**

**FBI Headquarters, Manhattan**

"So let me get this straight Doctor. You believe that the same person who abused me as a child is the same person who killed Jeremiah Cohen, and 12 other boys that we know of so far. I'm a conspiracy theorist myself but even this is to much for me to consider."

"No doctor. You can't be right because if you are then that means I had the chance to stop this bastard thirty eight years ago and I did nothing. Besides this guy has to be 60 years old." "How can he……"

"Munch you know for a fact that we arrest hundreds of pedophiles every year well into their sixties. Age does not matter to these people. It's a compulsion. Have you every seen an addict stopped by their age?"

"I can't believe it."

"I'm not absolutely certain Munch, but the similarities are too strong to ignore. The scarring on the sole of your foot matches the circular star formation found on all of the victims."

"Okay I'll bite. What do we do about this?"

"Well, now that we understand that this guy is definitely a serial murder with range stretching over multiple states, this case is now in the jurisdiction of the FBI. We will work with the Manhattan police and the other departments in which bodies were found but for all accounts and purposes this case is now under the jurisdiction of the FBI. Specifically, it is under the care of Agent Petrosky and me. I currently have a conflict of interest, so if you would like to have me remove myself as counselor, I would completely agree with you."

"No way Doctor. You aren't handing me off to some other shrink."

"Munch….., Huang pleaded.

I understand what's happening and what's going to happen. I am Detective after all." Munch said taking a deep breath. "I'm going to wave my confidentiality privileges. Whatever it takes to catch this guy if he is one in the same as my abuser."

"Munch, I have to advise you to think about this a little longer before you make that decision."

"It's already done Doctor. The longer we take the more time he has to find another victim. Let's get this done."

**Munch's Apartment**

Fin walked up to Munch's apartment and prepared to knock on the door. Before he could knock Munch opened the door. "Hey Fin, come on in."

Munch walked into the apartment and headed to the kitchen where he seemed to be cooking some kinda of curry dish.

"Are you hungry I'm making some Ethiopian food. There is plenty of it."

"Sure. I haven't had dinner I was coming by to see if you wanted to pick up anything but I see the answer to that is no."

"Make yourself at home," Munch said before returning to the stove to stir the dish.

Fin hopped up onto the center isle and watched Munch cook.

Munch was quiet for a while intent on cooking.

"So I guess you've heard."

"I have heard a few things but I would rather get the whole story from you. I figured that you might be ready to talk now "

"Let's eat first because I know if I don't eat now, I definitely won't be able to eat after we talk."

"Okay," Fin said and hopped down from his perch.

After eating Munch and Fin sat in Munch's living room and talked into the early morning, Fin sat patiently listening his face, voice, and actions full of compassion but no pity. Munch liked that. He liked it a lot.

"So this dude Stein, they believe he may be connected to the serial murders of the young boys?"

"They believe he is the psychopath doing the killings. And it's my fault that he's gotten away with so much."

"Munch don't say that, don't you dare say that."

"Why not," Munch said looking Fin in the eye. "It's the truth."

"It's not true. You were twelve years old."

"I knew, I knew what he was doing was wrong and I didn't stop it." Munch said jumping up from his position on the couch and stalking over to the window.

"You did try to stop him which is amazingly strong." Fin said following Munch to the window. He placed his hands around Munch's thin waist because it felt like the right thing to do.

Munch tensed for a moment and then he relaxed and placed his hands over Fin's where they were clasped around his waist and they both stood there for a long time.

**FMFMFMFMFMFMFM**


	10. Chapter 10

**(Notes and Warnings found at the beginning of Chapter 1)**

******Chapter Ten**

"We've found the bastard after four months we have a trail and it is hot," Agent Petrosky said animatedly. "I will call Munch and let him know the good news."

"I'm sure he will be pleased to hear it but it also means that he's about to relive a lot of pain," Huang replied.

"Yeah," Petrosky said sobering up, "but it has do him some good to know that that bastard isn't going to be out there for much longer.

_One Week Later_

Munch sat there in a daze. He couldn't breath. They had lost him. The trail of David Stein, now going by the name Peter Hoffman went cold in Albuquerque. He knew that he was going to come after him again. Because John had told again but he was more afraid for his brother then he was himself. Oh God he hadn't spoke with his brother in five years but he was worried sick about him. Munch got up and started pacing back and forth. He really didn't know what to do. God should he just sit there and just wait for David to come punish him or worse his brother.

"Stop stop stop", he screamed to himself be rational. You're a freaking Detective for Christ sake. You have a gun you can protect yourself."

"JOHN, JOHN snap out of it man." "What are you doing?" Fin asked. Munch startled and turned around to see Fin standing there in his living room.

"I used my key. I'm sorry, but I knew you were here and you weren't responding so I just let myself in."

Munch was so relieved that it was Fin standing there in his room. The feeling the release of tension was almost sexual.

Munch didn't know what happened next he felt himself walking towards Fin. Munch forcibly pressed Fin up against the wall so hard that Fin was dazed for a moment when his head hit the wall. Munch followed suit and started kissing him intensely almost violently and roaming his hands tearing at Fin's clothes. For a moment Fin stood there stunned and then he responded to the kiss. After a moment he realized that Munch really wasn't enjoying what he was doing. So he grabbed Munch's hand to put a stop to it and pulled away from Munch not without some resistance. Munch was surprisingly strong but he was stronger. He took a couple of deep breaths still pinning Munch's hands.

"What are you doing, Munch." Fin asked.

"I..I'm sorry I just wanted to feel something besides this pain. God I can't make it go away."

"Sssshh. Ssshhhh. Come here," Fin said pulling Munch to him and pulled him up against his body. Fin first kissed Munch on his forehead then proceeded to kiss him on the cheek, the neck, and finally worked his way back up to his month. He then took Munch's mouth with his, kissing him gently, slowly, and sweetly. Munch's mouth began to taste more salty and Fin knew he was holding back tears. He continued to kiss him sweetly. He then began using his hands to move sensuously over Munch's body.

Fin pulled Munch to his bedroom. He gently laid Munch down on the bed and slowly undressed Munch taking care to watch him for any signs of discomfort. He then stood up and undressed himself. After he was undressed he started making love to Munch again with his hands and mouth moving all along his body. He climbed on top of Munch and pressed their groins together and gently rocked against Munch all the while continuously kissing and caressing John with his hands.

When Munch climaxed he was left with the most amazing feeling of contentment. He kissed Fin deeply and pulled him down so that he was completely on top of him. Fin tried to resist.

"John I'll crush you," Fin whispered.

"No you won't. Stay here," he pleaded. Fin complied. After a few minutes Munch drifted off to sleep. A few minutes later Fin got up and cleaned himself off, came back to bed and lay beside Munch and pulled him into his arms.

"I'll keep watch over you, John," he whispered. "I'll keep the demons at bay."

**********  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**FMFMFMFMFMFMFM**

**Chapter Eleven**

"I didn't even know you played chess," Munch said bitterly, as Fin proclaimed checkmate for the third time in a row.

"There is a lot you don't know about me," Fin said looking intensely at Munch before he broke into a grin. Anyway, you're just mad because I have been kicking your ass for the past couple of hours.

"That's because I was assessing your strategy," Munch replied acerbically.

"Yeah, whatever. Are you up for another game?"

"I think you're a bit of a sadist. No I think I'll take a break for now. I feel like having some minestrone soup from Kapela's. Would you like for me to order you some of their potato soup that you seem to love even though it's cloggin' the hell out of your arteries," Munch asked.

"Sure." "And no worries about these arteries. I work out," Fin said cheekily.

Just as Munch was about to reach for the phone it started ringing. He grimaced for a second then picked the phone up.

"Hello."

"Detective Munch, this is Dr. Huang."

"Hello Doctor," Munch said turning his back on Fin, who had stopped putting away the chessboard.

"Munch, I just wanted to pass a long some information that Peter Hoffman formally known as David Stein has briefly popped back on our radar in Pennsylvania. We are keeping an eye out for him but it looks like he is heading back to the city. Are you alone right now? Do you need me to come over?"

"No on both accounts Doctor, thanks for your concern. I'll be fine. I'm not going to crack because one more psychopath is coming back to the city. I'll talk to your later doctor I have to go."

"What's going on," Fin asked once Munch had hung up the phone.

"Turns out that Peter Hoffman, formally known as David Stein, sadist extraordinaire has popped up on the FBI's radar in and it looks as if he is heading this way."

"John,.."

"I think I'm going to go take a shower, okay?"

"I'll be here when you get out, Fin said softly as he watched Munch walk away."

**SVU Squad Room**

**Manhattan**

Munch had been back at work fully for only two weeks but he could feel eyes on him everywhere he went and he knew it was more then his tendencies toward paranoia.

Munch walked into Cragen's office. "Does everyone know about me, captain?" Munch finally asked after catching another unie staring at him for a too long period of time.

"Don't worry Munch we are taking every measure to keep as tight a lid as possible," Cragen said. "The only people below me that know about the real reason you where out for the past few months is Fin, Benson, and Stabler."

"Okay Captain, it's probably just me being paranoid."

"You, paranoid, no," Cragen said sarcastically.

"Detective Munch you have a phone call on line seven," the officer who had been giving Munch the stare all day said.

"Thanks," Munch replied.

Munch walked out to his desk to answer the phone.

"Hello, this is Detective Munch."

"John Boy," said a silkly cultured voice on the other end of the line, "You're a detective now. How proud of you I am."

Munch froze for a minute.

"John Boy, are you still there."

"I'm here," Munch finally gritted out. "What do you want David," this name caused Fin who was sitting down at his desk doing paperwork to immediately look up.

"Oh, nothing really, I just wanted to catch up for old time's sake. I here you and your friends at the FBI have been looking for me."

Fin immediately got up and went to go get a trace put on the line.

"Have you been a naughty boy again and told on me? You know it displeases me when you do such things, John."

Munch swallowed but did not respond.

"Enough chit-chat now. John I want to meet with you again."

"I'm not coming anywhere near you."

"Oh you will come, who knows what fate, little Christopher Munch might meet if you don't."

"You Bastard," Munch hissed. "You Bastard." "Now, now, Munch didn't I teach you better then that only the uneducated use profane language. Meet me at Madison and 120th street in half an hour or your brother will be able to arrange his own son's funeral. Oh and I know you will come alone." The line went dead.

"Damn," Fin said. "He was using an untraceable cell phone."

Munch stood up immediately and quickly left the squad room.

"Hold up, Munch." Fin walked after him. Benson and Stabler in pursuit.

"Where are you going we have to contact the FBI."

"No time. That bastard has my nephew and god knows what he could have done to him already."

"How do you know he even has him, he could be bluffing. Don't you think you would have heard something from your brother by now."

"David does not bluff."

"Munch I'm coming with you," Fin said.

"So are we," responded Benson.

"He said come alone."

"We know how to keep a low profile," Fin said.

"Fine whatever, I'm driving," Munch said shortly.

**Warehouse**

**Madison and 120th**

Madison and 120th turned out to be some dive warehouse. "Aren't they always," Munch said to himself.

Munch approached the building alone. Fin, Benson, and Stabler were completely out of sight and the FBI was there but Munch could not spot them.

Munch walked into the warehouse and immediately pulled out his flash light and glock. It was black at as pitch inside the warehouse. Munch was deep into the warehouse before he heard something. A muffled voice called for help. He ran towards the sound all the time cautiously keeping an eye out. He felt like it was a trap but he didn't care at this point, if there was remote chance he could save Christopher. Amazingly when Munch found the source of the sound it was Christopher bound and gagged. Munch immediately bent down and begain to untie him. When he was a loose, Munch instructed him to take his spare flash light and get out of the building as quickly as he could. Munch then stood up and began his search for David.

"Where are you, you sick bastard," Munch whispered to himself.

"Hello John," Stein whispered against Munch's neck.

Munch whipped around pointing his gun at the dark figure.

"Now, now John. I wouldn't harm you. You were my first. The ultimate living trophy. Put the gun away."

"I don't think so," Munch said tightening his grip on the gun. "What makes you think I won't shoot you right here where you stand."

"Tsk, tsk. John temper temper. Oh I don't think you will be able to shoot an unarmed suspect and get away with it."

"Maybe, I don't know. They will probably make a special allowance when considering scum like you."

"Oh I don't know John you got away with it once but twice. Tsk. That might be pushing it."

"What are you talking about," Munch questioned

"Oh you remember Baltimore, John. How you shot that guy in cold blood."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Munch replied.

"Oh, I know. I've always kept an eye you. You and all your failed marriages. Did It ever occur to you that maybe the reason why all your marriages resulted in failure was because you were meant for me."

"You bastard," Munch replied and leveled his gun so that it was aimed directly at the center of Stein's forehead.

"Munch no," Fin called out as he entered the room. He rushed up to Munch and knocked his hand away just as Munch fired. The bullet nicked Stein on the shoulder. Out of no where Elliot was instantly there to cuff Stein. He turned to Munch and Fin to find Munch slumped on the floor sobbing and Fin cradling him.

"Get him out of here Elliot," Fin said and turned back to place his chin on top of Munch's head and begin to rock him back and forth.

**FMFMFMFMFMFM**


	12. Chapter 12

**FMFMFMFMFMFM**

**Epilogue**

The grave site seemed fresh even though it was a few months old. A head stone had been placed at the head of the grave.

_In loving Memory of our son Jeremiah Cohen._

Munch sat there for a while staring at the grave. Wondering what could have been but he then thought about the fact that David Stein would spend the rest of his life locked up in maximum security. It wasn't enough to make up for the lost of life but it was something to know that David Stein would not be hurting any more young boys in this life time.

Munch bent down and put a single white rose on the grave.

When he stood up he could see Fin approaching him. It was snowing and Munch just stood there for a second appreciating the way his partner glided through the snow to reach him.

"Are you ready to go?" Fin asked.

"Yeah," Munch said, looking down at the grave. "I'm done here."

Fin put his arm around Munch's shoulder and they walked out of the grave site together.


End file.
